The Positive Thinking Secret by Aaron Kennard

Author:Aaron Kennard [Kennard, Aaron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Nonfiction
ISBN: 9781456616731
Publisher: eBookIt.com

Emergency Room Protocol

The explosive pain lasted about 90 excruciating minutes, finally easing off around 4:45. Everyone at the ER seemed to be moving in slow motion. They had given me an IV of liquids and my pain had slightly eased, but nobody knew what to do with me, as usual. I told them of my diagnosis of ulcerative colitis, but that didn’t line up with the penis pain and made no sense to them. It didn’t make sense to me either, but clearly something was drastically wrong.

They wheeled me to the X-ray room to look at my genital area. About 15 minutes later they informed me I should probably just go home because they couldn’t see anything wrong.

“WHAT?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? NO!!! I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! There is something wrong with me and I’m not leaving until you find out what it is. What’s with these ER doctors always trying to send me home!?!”

I was furious. I couldn’t believe they had the nerve to say I should just go home and wait it out. “Wait what out? Are you not hearing what I’m telling you? I’m in agony here! I’m in severe pain! I can’t keep living with this kind of pain. I need you to figure out what is wrong!” How many times do I need to repeat this torturous ER doc convincing process? Seriously.

About that time, a new wave of pain began, welcoming back my moaning and screaming, this time, focused in my bladder, which suddenly felt like exploding! The nurse came in and I frantically told her “I need a catheter! My bladder is going to burst!”

“We can’t give you a catheter unless we know you really are full, we can’t risk infection otherwise.”

“IT’S FULL! IT’S GOING TO BURST APART! PLEASE, PLEASE JUST GIVE ME THE CATHETER! THEY HAD TO GIVE ME ONE LAST WEEK WHEN THE SAME THING HAPPENED. PLEASE! IT HURTS SO BAD!!” I cried and screamed frantically.

“Sorry, we have to do an ultrasound before we can give you a catheter.”

“AAAAHHHHHHH!!”

What seemed like 15 minutes later and was probably closer to 3 or 4, they came in with an ultrasound machine.

“Wow, you’re full alright”.

“HELLO!!! THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU! ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?” Is what I thought in my head…how infuriating to be writhing in pain and have people with straight, long faces, slowly going about their business following all the protocols to the letter. I could hardly believe it. In their defense it was 4:30 A.M. and they were just doing their best to help me within the regulations they had been given. But when you’re in massive pain, it’s really easy to get frustrated and impatient. I was not myself. Fortunately they brought in the catheter, drained my bladder, and soon the intense explosive pain subsided.

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